Please Forgive me

Dear God,
I just started a new job and I wanted to fit in. I wanted to be accepted so things would go smoothly. I decided to keep my head down and not rock the boat. At my job everyone swears like a sailor and most of them crack really inappropriate jokes. I have dropped some words that I know are wrong and I cracked jokes that I knew I shouldn’t have. I just wanted to fit in, God. I’m sorry but I was trying to not rock the boat after all. I did tell them that I absolutely couldn’t work on Sundays because I needed to go to church.
So today someone was teasing me about how I probably talked to you about them and their soul. I could tell they were joking but it wasn’t funny to me. Of course I talk to you about them. Of course I want them to know you. Why was it a joke? why was it funny? Then it hit me. I was a joke to them. My relationship with you was a joke to them. I was trying so hard to not rock boat…you became a joke to them.
Dear God….Please forgive me