Primed and ready

When I was around 16 years old I realized that the greatest calling on my life was to be a mother. I mean sure at that point I was no where near ready to fulfill my calling but it had been whispered in my ear none the less. Fast forward 10 years and here I am. I have passions that I have cried over and begged God to fulfill in me, like film making and singing. I still struggle with the fact that I have a burning desire to spread the word of God via movies and I am pretty sure that is going no where for the foreseeable future. every time I turn on the TV to one of those singing shows my heart aches just a little. Oh what I wouldn’t give to sing in front of a stadium full of people. But one thing I am realizing that right now there is a bigger calling on my life. God has called me to be something that I CAN be RIGHT NOW. God has called me to be the best wife that I can be. He has called me to be the best friend that I can muster through Him. God is calling me to take care of  His temple (something I haven’t ever really done I don’t think). I have so many things that I need to be dedicating my life to that God has handed me that are so extremely important.

I guess what I am saying is I am finally ready to be everything that God is asking me to be RIGHT NOW. who knows what the future brings. I sure don’t. I have tried to figure out what is to come pretty my whole life and I am no closer to figuring it out than I was ten years ago. I am finally okay with waiting to see what God does with my dream of film making. I will still film weddings as they come and graduations and the special events that people want filmed. I am finally okay with waiting to see what God does with my dream of singing. I will still take massive amounts of joy in singing in church and at home and in my car and really every chance I get. For the first time in my married life I am really truly okay with waiting to see what God does with the calling that He has put on my life. I am ready if God planted the seed of life inside of me this month but you know in the same breath I am okay if He decided Steven and I need a few more years. As I live my life NOW and do what God has called me to do NOW I pray that God prepare my heart to take on today. I will do my best to praise Him in how I treat my husband and my friends. I will pray that God helps me praise Him in how well I treat his temple. I am finally ready to live each day as it comes without looking to the past for what I could have different or without looking to the possibility
of what may come in the future